I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
