Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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