The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
