Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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