i was born a porn star she said
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
