you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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