Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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