Got a toothbrush?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
