She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
