That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
