Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
