Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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