I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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