Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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