Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
