Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
