I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
