There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
