is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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