We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
