question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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