would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
