so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
