You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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