Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
