I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
