Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
