My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
