He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I want to have your abortion
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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