she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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