her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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