i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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