ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
