remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
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