Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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