People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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