i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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