That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize