Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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