I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
