I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
