yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
