roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
