Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
