I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
