She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
