it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
