She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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