Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
you never un-have a 4some
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
