We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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