There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
