So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
