dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
