He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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