So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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