I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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