i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
