No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
