Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
