dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
