I'm gonna have a badass scar
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
