I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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