Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
4 words: hood of his car
stop calling my apartment porn island.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
