i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Randomize
