He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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