One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
