We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize