the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i will never coherently bang her
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
